When does The Elephant in the Room meet?

Mondays at 6:30 PM Eastern on Zoom, for about two hours, and some sessions also meet in person earlier the same day in a community space — the series page says where. It is free and open to anyone. The Zoom is the only thing to register for; in person you just come. insightfulrecoverysolutions.org/programs/the-elephant-in-the-room.

Do I have to come to every session?

No. Each session stands on its own and you can come to one without having been to any of the others. In the second session, not one person in the room had been at the first, and the conversation worked exactly the same.

No. You can sit and listen for the whole session. Nobody is called on and nobody is processed. People speak when they want to, and some people come for a while before they say anything.

Is The Elephant in the Room free?

Yes. There is no cost to attend and no requirement to give anything. Contributions keep the rooms free for the people who cannot give, but they are never a condition of sitting in one.

Anyone carrying something they have not said out loud. People in recovery, people supporting someone in recovery, and people who would not use either of those words about themselves. It is not treatment and it is not a clinical group.

Is what I say kept private?

What is said in the room stays in the room. Sessions are not recorded for publication, and the recaps published afterwards describe what the room named without identifying who said it.

How We Move: The Elephant in the Room, Session Four

Tye’s recap of Session Four, the morning after. 3 minutes.

Session Four met on Zoom on Monday, October 5. The subject was The Elephant in My Potential: am I living beneath my capacity, and what could be possible if I didn’t?

The next morning Tye recorded what the room landed on. His recap is above. His words are below.

How We Move

The room landed on personal responsibility. Not blame. The problem in front of you may have come from outside, and it may be no fault of your own. The part that belongs to you is the next move.

“It’s not about what happens to us as much as it is about how we move as a result of that.”

— Tyshaun Perryman

Tye called it a mantra, because it is so true.

What’s Strong, Not What’s Wrong

“Our potential gets hindered when we focus on the problem. When we focus on the problem, we focus on what’s wrong instead of what’s strong.”

— Tyshaun Perryman

So the work starts with a pause:

“We always have to take a moment to pause and think about where our leverage lies, where our strength lies, where our power lies. What is the next best move that we can do?”

— Tyshaun Perryman

Those are the questions the Healing Capital app asks. It is free, it works on any phone, and it starts by naming the strengths you have already built across nine areas of life, not what is missing.

Learn to Be Still

“Sometimes we can be stuck between a rock and a hard place and not know which way to go. So that’s when we got to learn how to be still.”

— Tyshaun Perryman

Stillness is not stalling. It is how you hear the next move over the noise.

Go the Way That Brings You the Most Energy

“One key insight and element is you go the way that brings you the most energy.”

— Tyshaun Perryman

When every direction looks the same, Tye’s test is simple:

“Whatever gives you strength, whatever gives you hope, whatever gives you power to bring clarity so that you can actually devise a plan or gain momentum to take action, that’s the next move to make.”

— Tyshaun Perryman

Then Act on Faith

Some days are hazy. Some days feel broken, overwhelmed, heavy with despair. The order does not change.

“Be still, pause, ponder, think about, okay, what is going to bring me the most energy in this situation? This is the way I’m going to act. I’m going to act on faith. I’m going to step out, and I’m going to make moves.”

— Tyshaun Perryman

The Collective Hold

None of this is meant to be carried alone.

“A lot of things we want to do on our own, but our problems sometimes are just bigger than what we can carry, so we need the use of the collective hold.”

— Tyshaun Perryman

That is what the room is for. Session One named the elephant in your own life. Session Two and Session Three took it into relationships and named healing as a currency. Session Four asked what becomes possible when you stop living beneath your capacity. The next room is in person.

Next · In person · Free

Monday, October 12

11:30 AM–1:30 PM · Poppa B's BBQ Soul, 2306 Washington St, Nubian Square

No sign-up needed. Come grab a bite and be part of the conversation. Zoom dates are posted on the series page.

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Not what’s wrong. What’s strong.